The definition of a discount transaction in TA is the stimulus and response do not match up. Discounts are not always obvious but are always disruptive to the person receiving them and if repeated can severely disturb the recipient. examples: “You look nice today.” has a different intention than a compliment. Are you saying you look awful the other days?
If you are giving an authentic compliment…the stimulus and response will match up. example: “You always look so nice.”
Why do people discount others? They want attention, they don’t realize what they’re saying at the time. Perhaps they learned it growing up in their homes. A mother or father constantly putting them down…in a ” you’re not ok” or you’re ok” and everyone else you meet is in a “not ok” position. If you or someone you know wants to enhance their communication skills by being more aware of discounting and how it impacts you and others you relate to….
There are people in the world that are trained and willing to assist you if you WANT to change yourself. Everyone typically wants to change everyone else an not themselves. I want to teach you a few tools thru diagrams and definitions to help you.
If you want to read more about this topic, one of my favorite books is “Born to Win” by Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward. I actually had the opportunity to meet them at an International Transactional Analysis Conference. They’re both lovely people. The book sold four million copies worldwide. I have the 25th Anniversary Edition.
p.s. The next conference will be held in San Francisco in August. If interested in attending…check out their website.
All the best,
Cathy
